[Joanne]
 
I had surgery and radiation therapy to treat my cancer of the uterus. My husband and I have been married for 52 years, and lovemaking has always been a good part of our marriage. After my surgery and treatments, I thought someone would talk to me about this, but no one did. I think they thought I was too old to be interested in sex. I kept wanting to ask my doctor when my husband and I could have relations again, but I was too embarrassed. Last week, we decided to try again anyway, but it was painful for me. My husband said it felt different to him, too. This made me even more determined to ask about it. 

[Joanne]

I had a doctor's appointment this week. I was just going to come out and ask. I felt I had a right to know the answer -- they should have talked to me about it. I practiced what I was going to say, and wrote down questions I wanted to have answered. I thought that if I had them written down, I would be more assertive. But, it is so hard to talk about such private things.

[Joanne]

Well, I got to my appointment and when the nurse was asking me if I was having any problems, I got up all my nerve and told her about my discomfort during sex. She could sense how uncomfortable I was and right away put me at ease. She said she thought someone else had discussed that with me earlier, and apologized so sincerely for not having brought this up earlier. She also gave me a booklet on the problem and recommended a certain cream. 

[Narrator]

Joanne reminds us that your needs, both medical and personal, are very important. If something doesn't seem right or if you have questions about your health or how your body is responding to treatment, communication can be the key to finding a solution.

[Nurse]

As a nurse, I'm in a good position to see problems that cancer survivors are having and to help them. I offer them several tips about communicating with their health care team. First, writing down your questions or concerns is an excellent way of making sure you get answers. It's also helpful to have an extra copy of your questions. That way, you can give one copy to your doctor or nurse to read and you can write the answers down on your copy as you discuss each question. Sometimes, the doctor may seem to be in a hurry, but if you have a list, that helps to make it go all the more smoothly. If you have a lot of questions, you may want to let the office staff know that ahead of time, when you make your appointment. That way, they can schedule you for a little more time.

[Nurse]

Another useful tip is to bring a family member or close friend with you. It frequently helps to have two people listening to what the doctor or nurse says. If you wish, your family member or friend can wait outside when you are examined, and you can ask that they be sent in when the physical exam is over. You also might want to ask the doctor if you can bring a small tape recorder along and record what he or she says. This is particularly useful if you have a hearing problem and don't always catch what is said.

[Nurse]

If you do have a hearing problem or vision problem or some other barrier to communication, tell your doctor and nurse about it. Your treatment is too important not to understand what is going on.

[Narrator]

Your health care team also needs to know if there might be anything else that could get in the way of good communication. They need to know how to communicate with you in a way that you can understand.

[Social Worker]

It's a very good idea to let the health care team know if you have difficulty reading or if you've never learned to read. In my job as a social worker, I've seen that many older people may not have had the opportunity to get formal schooling, and some very intelligent people never learned how to read. Or, perhaps English is not your native language. It may take a lot of courage to tell your nurse that you can't read, but the doctor cannot legally give you treatment if you're unable to understand a consent form for treatment. So, it's important to tell your nurse if you're unable to read, and ask that your nurse or doctor read you any form that you need to sign.

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