Almost from the day I was diagnosed with stage IIC ovarian cancer, I knew there was a reason, and that I could help others because of my experience. I started sharing through Care Pages, and soon had a large following of friends and family and friends of friends.  I tend to be a giver and nurturer, so learning how to receive and even to identify my own needs during treatment, became a big part of the experience for me. One of my posts included a list of things people could do to help, as well as advice about what they could say including, “I don’t know what to say,” which I told people was better than saying nothing.  This advice REALLY resonated with people and I got a ton of positive feedback. Learning to ask for help can be one of the most difficult parts of going through any challenge, but I think it might be especially difficult for single people who are accustomed to being independent and self-sufficient.

My friends loved my posts and several of them told me I should write a book, so that is part of my advocacy plan, hopefully sometime in the next year or so.  On my one-year cancerversary, I started writing a column about my experience as a single person with cancer, and have been posting monthly for the past three plus years now.

There are so many great resources out there now for young adults, but I could find nothing for those of us who are single, so a year or so ago, I put together a survey completed by ninety single survivors, identifying the biggest issues of this population and the services that would be most helpful. These are the top results:

Issues

Dating anxiety (84.6%)
Feeling alone  (82.4%)
Body image (80.2%)

Needs

Connections with other survivors (80.9%)
Support groups or retreats (71.9%)
A book or other information about dealing with cancer as a single person (62.9%)

This spring, I began working on an initial event for single cancer survivors – a three-day canoe trip on the Colorado River in late August.

Most of the survivors who participated said they felt a sense of renewed strength and confidence, and that they connected emotionally with fellow participants. Some have said the trip was the happiest they’ve felt since their diagnosis.

The entire experience has given me a feeling of profound gratitude for all of the amazing individuals who have contributed to making this first event happen, and created the foundation for a new organization to serve single survivors. Solo Survivors is born and a Give Forward fundraising page has been set up to raise money for our next event – a retreat Valentine’s weekend 2011. To be added to our mailing list, please email asinglecell@gmail.com.